3rdJanuary2012

My first day back at college wasn't too bad at all, it allowed me to see some of my friends which I have not spent enough time with for far too long. It was particularly nice seeing my friend Rachel who I spend all my classes with, we had a good catch up on everything which has happened since the last time we spoke. It amazes me how an old friend of hers and a not so close friend of mine any more can still mess around with her head, making her feel bad for things which are in no way at all her fault months after. This other girl Viki does this on purpose, she has already messed with many of my friends feelings, I really wish I had the confidence to tell her straight how I feel, but I'm scared of losing her as a friend. Rachel and me talked about the whole Alex and Chris situation, as I'm always making very silly mistakes she wasn't too shocked, just laughed along with me over it. Since Alex broke up with me we have always been close, he still tells me things which keep me holding on. I'm starting to feel like he knows that it's making me have a tight grip with us still, since Rachel and my talk earlier today. She said things such as he is leading me on and not treating me fairly, but I have been doing the same to Chris. I don't think anyone understands how it is for Alex and me, not even ourselves. Really I do not think there is any more time for 'what ifs', many things happen for a reason and eventually everyone needs to accept this. We can all change and learn for the better, being positive is what keeps me going <3