28thJanuary2012

I feel like I should write a little message now as I have a family party tonight which I am quite likely to be drinking at, thus leaving me unable to write a sober post later. Right now I don't feel that attached to Alex, as in I'm not dying to have him back as he is very much disappointed in me for doing things with Chris and I need to continue to hold my head down in shame for quite a while. I know however that as soon as I see Alex, all my emotions will be rushing back and I won't be able to help myself just as a fat kid would be with cake which is sat in front of them. Really Alex is just somebody which I use to know, we have both changed so much in a year, I'm sure both keeping secrets from each other and we don't know how each other are feeling or our thoughts at all. It's depressing to think that people who were once so close, can turn into such distant people. I am really happy that Alex and me have stayed friends, even if it cause me more pain and us more drama. Simply I have accepted that he doesn't like me any more than a friend, but I will stay hopeful forever.