I had my second driving lesson today, again it went really well and I very much enjoyed it. I'm already progressing so much from last week and feel much more in control of the car while driving. I had my driving lesson at 12.30 - 2.30, and I haven't done much else other than that today. My driving instructor asked me last time about my theory test and mentioned it again this time, I assume he wants me to start revising for it now, as the sooner, the better. I feel that I'll probably be better at the theory than the practical, as there's more pressure for the practical.
I feel like I have been forgotten about by Chris; I finally know how he has been feeling for so long now. It truly is a terrible feeling, I just want things to go back to how they were. In a way though, I prefer it now to how it was, simply because now it's me who's getting hurt and not Chris. Chris is now in a state where he is in control of what he does, which is something I will never be able to accomplish in Alex's and my relationship. I'm happy for Chris, but I can't help but want to be close with him again. I really and truly may have feelings for Chris, it's strange really.. I wish I was in a relationship with Chris, but a non sexual one, that way I could say he's mine and he would be. That's really all I've wanted all this time with Chris, I've loved all of our closeness, but let him get too close and attached to me in the wrong ways, thus me messing around with his head and leading him on. I don't really understand, and I definitely don't expect him to understand! I want weird things, and that is one of them <3
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