15thJanuary2013

I've finally got a little annoyed at the conversation and situation with the ex. It angers me that he's finally putting a stop to everything, that he's that interested in a girl enough to think it's worth mentioning to me, and that it's all happened so fast since the last talk we had a conversation about him not wanting to be in a relationship at all. I'm feeling much better about it all than I was a couple days after he first told me though. I did and do still kind of assume that things will still happen between the both of us, and then a mutual agreement afterwards that it shouldn't still be happening, and repeat.

A few hours later and I'm not feeling too sad about the conversation with the ex, I think it resulted well but of course it could have gone a lot better. I am still feeling sad about the whole situation though, but that's what I do when I'm given a deep conversation to think over.

The gym hasn't been too bad today, however I have been feeling rather self concious about it. I can't help but think about what people must be thinking about my health, and my exercise ability. I shouldn't worry too much, as it's obvious that there's far worse people in the facility than me, but still it comes naturally to panic about what people think about me. The gym went surprisingly better than I expected it to, and I'm feeling rather positively towards it now. I'm even looking forward to the gym on Friday, which is not something that anyone that knows me would expect in the slightest. My friend and I have booked our training programmes, meaning that the trainers will put us on a training scheme and monitor our progress, making us push ourselves harder.

Mother and me have been sorting through random bits and bobs that have been in the loft this evening. It's been really nice to find items that I haven't seen in months, there's been a lot of nostalgia been going on. The best thing I found in the loft was a valentines card from my ex ex, it was adorably done and it was absolutely perfect. It's most definitely the most thought about gift I have ever received from a boyfriend, and I can't see myself ever getting rid of it. Inside was a sweet note that he typed up, it said something along the lines of how he's watched enough telly to know that he's supposed to ask me to be his valentines, I'd say yes, and then we'd share a special kiss. I feel like I should be able to feel happy over that card years on, so I will!