My day started off worrying about the evening, which wasn't positive in the slightest. I had very low hopes of having a good evening, simply because the ex would be there and we've been having troubles at the moment. My worst thought was that the girl he likes would be there, which I can only imagine would send me crazy. I would assume that they would be all over each other, as they would most likely be drinking and I would be at the back of his mind. Having huge feelings like this towards someone is not fun, it mucks around with my head.
The day itself hasn't been that bad. I managed to wake up at eleven fifty-five in the morning, which is huge achievement for me as of late. The long sleep was due to my late bed time, and my avoidance of a friend staying over. I'm not very sociable in the mornings, so this was best for all of us. I've been left a little sore from being waxed; under-arms, and legs which are not in pain. I also got my eyebrows threaded, which satisfies me greatly as out-of-control eyebrows are not attractive in the slightest.
Lets get started on the night.. After a little alcohol intake I was feeling excited for the night, but still understandably worried of what would come. I received a call from him a little before I left the house, asking if I was there yet as he was by himself. He asked me to call him when I got there, but I felt like I had the upper-hand by not doing so; I like feeling in-control, which is not something that I have often with him. When we arrived the best friend pointed out who she thought was him, but instead it was his lookalike, my friend who I'm somewhat attracted to because of who he resembles. We jumped in the queue with them, for the ex and the ex-ex to shortly arrive. I don't see any happiness that it brought me, but I didn't turn around to say hello, instead I pretended I hadn't seen them, perhaps in hope that they would walk straight past. I didn't want them to walk past, and in actual fact I would have probably been pretty annoyed if they did, but I guess it was just an attempt to control my feelings. The night started off with both of us saying very little to each other. I did want to talk to him, but I had no clue what to say without making it seem as if something was wrong, so instead I gave him the impression that something was wrong by starting no conversation. A little while into the gig we all went outside for a cigarette, I was a little annoyed with him, but truthfully I wanted him there. I overheard a conversation between him and the best friend about how I was avoiding him, I guess I was, but this can be put in relation to me not knowing what to say to him. After a short time he offered me a cigarette and we got talking properly, I think the conversation of me not avoiding him arouse, but I can't promise that as I was a little intoxicated. After that it was pretty much fine, although I didn't see him much of the night and instead spent it with the other four which were on the same gig level as me, which is to avoid the mosh pits at all costs. It was the after-party that started making it up for me and the ex, which was nice as I felt interested in, as if he cared. It was very nice to spend a drunken night out at a gig with him, and I hope to do it again soon.
All in all it was a good night, however I can't put much conversation into how the bands were, as obviously my head was somewhere else. It was Funeral For A Friend playing, supported by Freeze The Atlantic and My Preserver.
We then headed back to my house, with a kind lift from the ex-ex. I once again invited the ex to stay over mine for the night (as we had planned before things went to mush), and he surprisingly accepted.
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