It was a late drinking evening for me. It ended with the ex in my arms, which was truly beautiful. It wasn't properly planned for him to stay over, but I asked once again at the end of the night and he kindly accepted. It wasn't a hard choice, but it was an important one none the less; choosing between staying at the event with the ex, or following the guy who I like to the pub close by. I shamefully followed the ex back into the club and consumed even more alcohol. I've worked it out to be 6-7 pints of Strongbow, two cans of Strongbow, and a little mix of alcohol I made before I went out of the house that I had drank in the night. I am proud of how much I drank without passing out or throwing up, it's a real achievement for me. The ex ex kindly gave us all a lift back to my house, and then made his way home. I was very happy that the ex was stating over, but I probably should have been a little less drunk for it. It seemed normal to be bringing him back home with me, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. Even though we said we wouldn't be having any more intimacy, it still got heated between us, even in the morning when we were both sober.
Now thinking back to it, I do feel bad for the friend of mine that was staying over that night, as he seems to have big feelings towards me. I'm a terrible person for bringing the ex back, but I seriously can't waste any chances with us when things are getting so cold between us. My friend didn't bug us in the morning, which I appreciate greatly, he truly is a kind person.
We laid in bed for ages in the morning, as we would have usually done while we were dating. Waking up with him is something I seriously enjoy, everything is always so relaxed and it feels so natural. I seriously don't want to live my life any other way than having him as the main person in my life, but he's forcing me to change that.
I had obviously smoked far too much the night before, as my chest was very tight for the whole of the next day. I can't imagine being hungover all day helped either, but I managed to sleep through most of that. I first went to sleep at around 4 in the morning, I woke at 12 in the afternoon, went back to sleep at 4 in the afternoon, and then woke for a final time at 10 in the evening.
It was a beautiful early morning I spent with him, and I really do hope that I get to share that some time again soon!
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