5thNovember2012

Although I've got Webster (my dog)'s ashes today, I would much prefer to have him well and alive. It's so strange having him in a little box, it's quite upsetting but at the same time it sets my heart at a little rest now that I've got him back. I'm not too sure how to feel about it yet. Such a big dog with such a big heart, fitted into a little box to never become alive once again. Everything I'm stating here is so obvious, but it's so hard to get my head around it all. I still feel he's with me, I still imagine he's alive and that I can contact him. Sadly though this is not true, I will never get to hold him again, I will never be able to play with him again, I will never be able to tell him to his face that I love him and show him how much I love him. All dogs go to heaven, and I know that he's still keeping me warm and loved. It's really hard losing someone you love, and he was one of the highest rated beings in my life. I always use to think I wouldn't be able to cope without him by my side, but truthfully I am, quite well actually. I only had another breakdown last night, and before that it was the day after his death. I think this is due to my friend telling me he misses me, and then trying to get in a war of who misses who the most, but all I could think about was how much I miss Webster in comparison to my friend. I really miss my dog, and I want him here. It has not properly processed that he's not here, but I know that something's missing, my heart feels empty and still.
Here is a video of Webster and me from just over a year ago, we had so many happy times together.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1862896626617 I'm not entirely sure if you'll be able to view it, but I do hope so. I am so happy that I have this footage of him, it shows the true happiness of this dog. He was such a playful, friendly and active creature.