13thJune2012

I dreamt that Alex asked me to be his girlfriend last night, he did this through text and I was so happy about it but a little worried that it wouldn't work out and wanted him to be sure that's what he really wanted. I thought about this as I woke, and looked through my phone in hope there was a text from him but of course nothing. I think what set me off dreaming of him last night was that he sent a sweet good night text to me, without me being sweet first at all. I did enjoy the dream, but I would rather it wasn't so amazing leaving me in reality feeling rubbish and wanting more.
Thinking back to how Chris was with me before 2012 fills me with happiness, even if I wasn't happy at the time and everything was going completely wrong. He was so into me for so long, I truly did enjoy the company from him. Things would have been so different if Alex wasn't around at the time and I didn't still like him, but there's nothing I can do about that. When talking to Chris recently about it he said that he didn't love me, I want to agree with him but really I think he did, just possibly thinks he didn't because he loved someone after me but his love for her was stronger and happened a lot quicker as she liked him back.
I want to be able to have chances with the guy who next likes me like Chris did, but I feel Alex will still get in the way of me liking them back, which he tends to do very well. It's been far too long for me now and I would really like to be able to call someone my own. Obviously things with Alex are staying the same, no matter how hopeful I get, everything stays the same and I'm just filling myself with false hope. I want a boyfriend! However I am a very picky person and most definitely have a type, I could be lenient with this though I guess.
Right now I can only think of one person who likes me [or at least I assume he does], my friend Nick who I knew when I was little and have only been back in contact with for the past half a year. He's always messaging me and it just comes across as if he does like me because how he talks to me. I'll hopefully be getting someone to ask him while he's been drinking whether he likes me or not, it's always nice to know someone finds you attractive but would rather spare the awkwardness of him knowing I know.
I got waxed again for the third time, I get my legs and underarms done and I'd say it's well worth it. It makes the hair thinner again which is useful if you'd want to go back to shaving again and the hair stays away for a good amount of time, so no worrying about having time to shave. I'd say the most painful part is getting the hot wax put onto your skin, however that's just me being silly and not telling the woman who does it, instead burning me a little and causing my legs to have little spasms. The ripping off the hair part doesn't hurt so much, getting my eyebrows threaded hurts more I'd say as my eyes always water, however that may well be because they're both on my face and the nerves are closer or something. I definitely suggest it to anyone that's thinking about it! I would love to get laser treatment done, which permanently gets rid of the hair however is quite expensive and can be a little risky depending on how sensitive your skin is.
It's a little different to the last topic, however I will relate breast enlargement to it. I use to think I wanted this a couple of years ago as I was a bit self concious of how big everyone else's breasts seemed in comparison to mine, however being in a relationship with Alex made me over come this paranoia [even if it is true]. My breasts in my opinion are on the smaller scale, however I am comfortable with them for now. Fair enough my opinions may change in a few years, but I'm thankful for Alex giving me the confidence in myself.
We all need someone there for us to keep up happy, I'm happy I have him <3