I have been seriously stressed out lately, mainly with the whole drugs thing getting me off task from the things which I should be doing such as coursework and sorting out myself for next year, which now I'm having to settle for the college again [that is if I get the grades I need].
I'm planning to be an absolute hypocrite with the Alex taking ecstasy next Friday by doing it myself, I first thought this would be a good idea sometime last week when I was with Sean drinking, so we planned it slightly and he got back to me the next day saying he knew where to get it from and when to take it. At this exact moment I'm worrying a little about it, and know that really I don't want to do it and it's not me at all, but I feel I may be more okay with Alex if I do as I have done it myself.
I look down on everyone who does drugs even once, so I'm sure this isn't the right thing to be doing and I'll look down on myself a hell of a lot more. I'm really scared, I wish Alex had never taken it.
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