28thMarch2012

Today I saw Alex, and for the first time in a very long time, everything was perfectly fine and I didn't go into one of my moods where I go really quiet and be upset. I walked up to the bus stop to get him, and we had a nice walk back in the sun to my house and stayed in my room for a good few hours. At first we were hanging around the windowsill area, and then my bed which is our usual routine. It took a good while for us to get intimate, as he was a little un-easy however it happened of course, and I enjoyed every second of it. No matter how much I like someone else, I think there will always be room in my heart for Alex, I don't understand how I would eventually forget about him completely! As today went so well, I think I have a much better chance of us becoming closer again and possibly him asking to see me in the next month, along with the reason of me talking to him about how he never asks to meet up with me. Alex and me are REALLY good friends, and so similar, we're pretty much perfect for each other. Sadly however, nothing will ever happen between to get us into a relationship I'm very certain, it makes me extremely sad, but I can very much see that if we did get back together, it would most likely not work out and quite possibly damage my friendship. I do wish that he was my boyfriend, but that's not the right thing for him right now and we would both be too insecure in the relationship. The fact that someone kissed me on Friday was brought up, he didn't seem to mind too much but simply to the fact that he has heard a lot worse stories about me from the past few months, and we could even make jokes about it. Today Alex kissed several times, and I went down on him. I thoroughly love having my mouth around his penis, but in a loving way more than a sluttish way. I love his cock, and making him feel pleasure for it. I'm really not a girl who's in love with penis, it's just simply to the fact that it's him. I see girls sucking guys off as something very disgusting, unless they're in love with them and there's a special connection between the two of them, it's an intimate activity which should be done with someone you should trust. Alex is quite possibly the person who I trust the most, and I really appreciate how much of a good friend he is to me. I love Alex <3