Okay so starting on Friday night.. Lean got to mine around 7.30pm, which is when she said she would be, however of course she was not ready. I drank a bottle of Caribbean Twist whilst waiting for her to get her face caked up which took 30 minutes, resulting us leaving at 8pm. We had to go to Tesco first of all so that we could both get money out and she could buy me some cigarettes, which all went well apart from she forgot to get money out. In town we parked in Morrison's car park which was around a ten minute walk from where we were supposed to be, because Lean was in high heels. We got in right away and I felt comfortable with the amount I had already intoxicated myself with. We went straight to the bar really, which took a solid 10 - 15 minutes to get served. At first I panicked a little as I thought they would ask for I.D, but soon after I had no problem with that as everyone there was supposed to be over 16, thus them worrying about the age a little less. Throughout the night I bought 3 bulmers original and 2 vodkas and coke, however I would say a solid bottle of bulmers was drank by other people. While in the queue, I noticed the guy from college who I like, however wasn't drunk enough to say anything to him and then he disappeared off into the crowd so I couldn't appreciate his face while waiting. Sometime while drinking the first bottle, Lean and I went upstairs where it was a lot less crowded and sat on some sofas, then Seb sat at some just across from us with a friend. I stared Seb down for about 10 seconds before he noticed me and then we both got up to franticly hug each other as we hadn't seen each other for a year and 10 months, at a party for my 16th which was just after we left school for good. Lean, Seb and I then went to get more drinks, which again took very long and we stared to get talking with a boy called Logan who was in front of us waiting to be served. We politely asked if he'd get up the drinks, with us giving him the money of course and then he followed us to some downstairs sofas where we all talked and drank for a good while. We often walked around rather than sitting there, but kept ending back there. Lean's friend Kristi was there that night too, and for some reason she was calling Lean out, who also took Seb and told me she'd be back in a little bit, slightly hinting to me that I should stay there with Logan, so I did. We headed to the dance floor and moshed a little, however my arms are crazy and out of control when I'm sober, let alone drunken dancing which meant I kept hitting his nose a good ten times as he was too close behind! We were dancing quite closely and one thing lead to another, he came onto me and I didn't push away. I didn't want it to happen, however I'm not really bothered as he seemed like a quite nice guy rather than someone I'm going to hurt. I think we probably kissed around three times, and it was always me breaking away from him as really, I am not into him and he's not my type at all. There's no way that would have happened of I was sober and I feel a little sick at myself for letting anything happen, however not any damage has happened from this [Alex doesn't know quite yet]. He asked for my number so I gave it to him and I received a text the next morning, and since then we've talked every day. The texts just involve casual conversations about how our days have been and stuff like that. He's also asked if we could meet up again, I said I wouldn't mind however he should be aware that nothing will happen between the two of us, which he accepted. He could tell that I wasn't too interested I'm sure, however I did enjoy the company as I would have freaked out if I couldn't be latched onto someone! I stayed at wama for nearly up to an hour later than when it finished at 1am, as Adam wasn't going and I was loitering around wondering what to myself to get home. I decided with the walking home option, which took me a good hour and half. The walk was quite cold as I only had a dress, tights and a cardigan on, but I'm sure it could have been much worse. At the end of the night I also had a cigarettes stolen from me, which was a packet of 20 I had only just bought that night! It's safe to say I was pretty pissed off. I can tell it was stolen, or am quite certain of it as the packet of cigarettes had been taken along with a lighter, but not my purse or my phone, which also makes me want to think it was someone I know; either Seb or Logan. My guess is more towards Logan as Seb kept asking for another, when neither of us could get to the bag and he wouldn't have gotten to my bag after I had got it taken away.
My problem is that I would like to talk about Alex before it rather than him hear it from someone else, last night I wasn't too sure weather to tell him on the phone or wait until I see him. I feel there may be a good chance he'll hear from someone else if I don't tell him soon! I text him earlier asking if I could see him tomorrow, and his reply was that he's pretty certain he can and will check with his mother in the morning. I'm quite sure that I will be seeing him tomorrow, and I will most likely tell him about the Friday situation. I think Alex should be okay with this, as he has done the same at a club and he's heard a lot worse things about me with Chris from just before christmas. I hope Alex isn't too bothered by this!
When I got back on Friday night, I got online and added the boy from college who I like, even though he had never heard of me. I was still slightly intoxicated when I added him, and had been thinking about adding him and what my excuse could be while on my journey home. When I woke the next day in the afternoon, he had accepted my friend request and I private messaged him, in hope that out conversation would be a little longer and just seem nice between the two of us. We've talked quite a bit since Saturday, and hopefully we'll talk a lot more. He comes across as a very nice person and friendly, however he uses words shortened down rather than correct grammar which is a little difficult at times. What's even better than this is that we spoke today at college! One of his friends who he was with at the time walked over to a friend of mine to talk to him while I was with him, he either didn't recognise me, didn't look who it was or was too shy to say something as he didn't say hello until I said hi first. He has a deeper voice than I imagined, but it's still nice. I was quite nervous as I saw him walking towards me and when talking to him for even just a little I started shaking slightly. I am really so happy with myself that I have managed to talk to him, because usually I would have just not bothered to do anything with someone I have a crush on, and be really negative thinking they will never like me. I don't think he will ever like me, or anything will ever happen but it's nice to manage to get this far!
This is another thing which I was thinking of talking to Alex about, however because I don't think anything will happen with this guy and we've only just started talking I don't think it's worth bringing up in conversation. We'll see what happens I guess.
And now for today, I've just been to college and of course got to talk to the guy I like. A good 1 - 2 hours was spent outside, enjoying the sun which puts me in a much better mood for living. I have very much enjoyed my day, and am in hope that things will get much better for me soon <3
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