12thSeptember2012

I've had an extremely good day spent with Alex. I woke at 10.10 so that I could clean my room, shower, do my face and get my stuff ready for my driving lesson and then seeing Alex. The original plan was that I'd end my driving lesson at his, stay there for a little while and then we'd both walk to mine and he'd stay until late. My driving lesson was good and I didn't cock up too much, we went on the dual carriageway for a bit which was my second time there. Afterwards I ended my driving lesson at his, and we ended up staying there until 8, walked to mine and was here for around 30 minutes - an hour before I walked him half way back home with Webster. On the way to mine I mentioned about him staying over mine for the night sometime and he replied with something like that we have to stop all of this sometime, this sent me to silence and plainly upset that the thought has come up from him once again. On the way back to his I was finally ready to talk about it again, I told him that I still loved him which I'm over the moon about as I've been wanting to say it to him for ages now, just to make sure he's aware. We also talked about him being with other girls and what we would be like if he was in a relationship and liked someone, which I told him I would not be okay with, but obviously I would have no opinion in and told him it's all about him, however I would probably have to stop talking to him because I know that I would not be able to control my emotions over him and there would be a big possibility that I would manage to get him to cheat on her with me. We also mentioned that for me to be okay with us not having this relationship between us, I'd have to stop talking to him as I'd just not be able to be just friends, and I reckon I'll sadly have that opinion forever. I do love Alex, that is for sure.